Rule Number 436
by Mister Jackkkk
Summary: Hogwart's rule number 436: Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.


**Rule Number 436**

**Hogwart's rule number 436: Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.**

"It's just a jump to the left!" screams Ron at the top of his lungs, and his two best friends giggle, "and a step to the riiiiiiight!"  
>'Stop!' gasps Hermione, clutching her side, 'Ron – please! It's too much!'<br>"Put your hands on your hips!" he wriggles his eyebrows, causing his friends to fall over each other, "And bring your knees in tiiight!"  
>Harry laughs silently, clapping his hands together loudly, like a retarded seal.<br>"It's the pelvic thrust! Which'll make you go insaaa-aaa-aane!" he then proceeded to dry hump the air, and suddenly throws his arms towards the sky, "Let's do the time warp, again!" he then bowed to his tight cheeked, and red faced friends.  
>'Trying out for the cheerleading squad, Weasel?' came a snide voice, 'I know Gryffindor needs all the support they can get, but this is ridiculous,' Malfoy's goons snigger and Ron whips around to abuse the slimy Slytherin, but stops, mouth gaping like a fish out of water.<br>Draco hadn't bothered to slick his hair back today, considering the high winds and looked rather… nice.  
>'Uhhhhh,' the red head sounded.<br>'This is no fun if you can't even make a semi-intelligible response,' he turned away, 'Crabbe, Goyle – come!' he ordered, and the Silver Trio left.

Ron rounded on his friends.  
>Just leave it be,' said Hermione, glaring at the Slytherin's retreating backs.<br>'He's just a prat, Ron,' added Harry and the ginger shakes his head.  
>'Didn't you see!' screams the boy, 'he looks <em>exactly<em> like Rocky Horror!'  
>'Oh, please!' Hermione scoffs, 'I regret ever showing you that film now – Malfoy doesn't look anything like Rocky,' but Ron proceeded to see it otherwise.<br>'I'm serious!' he screams, shaking his female friend.  
>'Get off, Ronald!' she huffs, batting him away.<br>'You saw it, didn't you, Harry?' he then grabbed said boy's shoulders.  
>Harry burst out laughing, 'Maybe you just want to see the git in a gold thong, mate,' he teased.<br>'That's it!' Ron let go of the Gryffindor seeker and his two best friends exchanged concerned looks, 'That'll prove he looks exactly like the Creature of the Night!' and the youngest Weasley boy charges towards the castle.  
>Hermione hits Harry, 'Now you've gone and put the idea in his head!'<br>'Ow! 'Mione – stop!' the Chosen One holds her at arm's length, 'look – there is no way he could convince Malfoy to parade around the school grounds in a gold thong and he's no good at Transfiguration, so he'll give up on it.'  
>'… Yes… you're right… sorry,' Hermione sighs, and they head to lunch.<p>

The two thirds of the Golden Trio find the last member stuffing his face, and nose pressed into a book in the Great Hall and Hermione gives her famous friend a pointed look and sniffs, 'Ron, don't you think you're obsessing a little?' and the ginger shakes his head.  
>'I'll prove it!' he manages around his toast.<br>'But – you're actually looking up a spell, Ron,' Harry states, looking concerned.  
>'Only because, Malfoy – the stupid git – told me to piss off when I told him to wear a gold thong so I could take a picture to show you guys,' he continues to eat, like it wasn't the most absurd thing ever and Harry giggles, 'I mean – it's just a thong! It's not like I want to shag him in it!' Ron shudders at the thought and Hermione sighs.<br>'At least, you're sort of studying.'  
>'Hmmm,' agrees Ron around a mouthful of pumpkin juice.<br>'You do sort of have a man-crush on Rocky though…' Harry says, slowly, 'what if you are right –' Ron lifts his head, ' – which you're not – and you want to bonk Malfoy's slightly, _slightly_,' pressed Harry at Ron's hopeful look, 'similar appearance in a gold thong?'  
>'I don't want,' replied Ron, turning a page, 'Malfoy's a prat – Rocky's not – and I don't want top bonk either of them – I'm into <em>girls<em>, Harry.'  
>'Rocky is a fictional character!' shrieks Hermione.<br>'I know that,' Ron rolls his eyes, 'geez, I'm not stupid, 'Mione.'

His two best friends exchange looks, obviously Ron didn't see just how stupid it would be to put Draco Malfoy in a gold thong.  
>'Mmm!' splutters the ginger around a new mouthful of pumpkin juice, 'Got it! I'll be back!' he cheered, rushing out of the Great Hall in search of the Slytherin and Harry grins.<br>'Sorry, I've gotta see this,' and he follows his fellow Gryffindor.  
>Hermione sat for a few seconds, thinking how immature her friends were acting, before looking about quickly and chasing Harry out the door.<p>

Ron spots Malfoy in the corridor and raises his wand, 'Oi! Malfoy!' he shouts, and just as the blonde turns to face the ginger, a gold light hits him.  
>Harry and Hermione skid into the hallway, Harry grinning and Hermione covering her mouth.<br>Draco's clothes shift and shrink down his body, causing a loud shriek from him as they settle into a very tight, gold thong around his neither region; his skin tans slightly and an unnatural breeze ruffles his hair.  
>The light dispersed and Malfoy yelps, bending, trying to cover his mostly naked body and Ron whoops.<br>'I told you!' Ron shouts at his friends, over the laughs of the other students present, 'I told you he looks _exactly_ like Rocky Horror!'  
>'Er – Ron –' Hermione warns, pointing.<br>'You can't deny it!' he turns to admire his handy work, when the snake charges at him.  
>'I'm gonna kill you!' screams the red faced Slytherin, connecting his fist with the Gryffindor's face.<p>

**A/N  
>Poor Draco, I feel sorry for him… but only slightly. XD<br>Why don't you all Time Warp your way to that pretty little review button, and tell me what you think? ;D  
>Also, people keep putting alerts on these Rules; they are all individual fics (for the most part), because they are mostly separate rules, so either alert me or keep an eye out for them.<br>Mister Jackkkk.**


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